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I've been very candid about my thoughts on this web site over the past 8 years. I've written about things that have been very important to me, and things that have been very revealing. After all, this was supposed to be about what was "in my mind." I started this effort after many years of struggling to find God in my life. The story of that journey was the first thing I wrote. Then I posted the studies I had done that supported that journey. As my mind worked its way outward from these core concepts, I started working through what this new way of life caused me to think about other things in the world around me. Everything from other religions to video games. It was a way of settling in to the truths I had discovered.
Unfortunately, I think that candor has just cost me something. In the big scheme of things, it's certainly not a big deal, but I've always tried to operate from a position of what's right, not what's expedient, and, though the cost was relatively small, the underlying problem was one of "correctness." In order to deal with this effectively, I'm going to have to review all of my site, and probably – though I hate to say it – rewrite most of it. I think I've been too open about what I think, especially with regard to controversial topics. And, although I remain very much committed to intellectual honesty, I've also come to learn that – as Scott Unsworth said to me in 10th grade – "there's a little something called 'tact,'" that I need to master.
I suppose I could write up some of the anecdotes that have led me to really get serious about my people skills, but, again, that would involve a lot of candor that may or may not reflect well on me, even though the end result is very positive. I know I'm dancing around a lot of stuff here, and I'll admit it bothers me. I hadn't realized what it meant to me to keep this site up, even though I had been creating new pages only rarely. I really appreciated the chance to post something up, raw, on the internet for the world to see, because it forces you to really think through the subject you're writing about, lest you be open to easy criticism. (At least, that's how I've approached it. Your mileage may vary.)
Faced with the prospect of not being totally candid on this site, of not saying any and everything that comes to my mind that I deem of significance, I wonder if this site will stay the same after a review. After all, if I'm not really doing a "brain dump" here, the whole theme of the site is sort of moot. And, at the same time this has all been rumbling around, I've recently started a writing project that came to me almost out of nowhere. It's much more personal than anything I have on this site. I guess I'll be transparent one more time and say that I'm writing about the regrets I have about my life. I know that I could never post it up here. And, being the sort of person I am, if I can't have everything on the site, it leads me to think about a redesign despite what may or may not have happened.
So this is a placeholder. I have no timeframe for when I'll do this, nor do I know to what level I'll do a redesign. It's time to just let these electrons fallow for awhile. This site has always been primarily for me, but who knows what might spring forth from these buidling blocks.
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